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There are so many times when I feel things as a Mom that I wonder "Does anyone else feel this way?" This leads me to googling different aspects of motherhood, usually things like "angry mommy, cranky mommy, etc." It's sometimes hard to find things written by other mothers that mirror my emotions, so I thought, hey, what the heck, I'd start a blog. Maybe it'll only help me as I vent, or maybe at least one other person will read it and go "yeah, that's me!" and we can walk on, each of us refreshed, knowing that we're not alone in this.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Beautiful Snow

I am overwhelmed with emotion right now. It’s snowing. It never snows here - I think the last time was 2 years ago, and that was a freak thing in MARCH. It’s so beautiful. And I just feel like something is changing. I feel like it’s the blessing of God, coming down so beautiful and so pure and so good. There are times the blessing of God comes violently like the waves of an ocean or a waterfall, but somes times it comes to us like snow drifting, floating, light. Wonderful.

The last few snowflakes have fallen and the sun in coming out, and it’s like we’re left saying, “Did that really happen?!” While we were in the midst of it, it was so overwhelmingly beautiful and real. And now there’s hardly a sign of it, but we can know in our hearts and treasure that it did - it DID - it did. And I think this is where we get glimpses of heaven and realize that this earth is not our home. That beauty like that is real, and while we may only get occasional glimpses, in heaven, the home of the King it’s always so. Like CS Lewis talks about, we were made longing for a distant land, a joy we’ve never known…there’s something in our hearts that knows eternity is real and the Kingdom of Heaven is real and that there is a King and He is good and He is love. It’s so easy to forget down here. It’s hard and ugly and everything is so full of decay and deceit and ruin. But oh, as the old hymn goes, “How beautiful heaven must be!”. And how beautiful its Light, its Lamb.

So I pause - I take pause - in reverence…realizing my own frailty and the many times I’ve chosen to believe what I can see over what I can’t see, what I don’t have the strength at times to hope for. But hope is just around the corner - it’s just around the corner! And whether it be the few seconds our eyes are opened and we see what really is, or whether it be permanently entering that world through ceasing to live in this fallen one, hope is just around the corner and it calls to us. Oh, longing in my heart, you were put there on purpose! Longing for home - for the King - for heaven! “How beautiful heaven must be!”

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