Not-so-joyful Noises

Note to Self: When baby is learning to "cry it out", installing a door on his room is imperative. Otherwise, beloved baby's cries sound like fingernails on a chalkboard...especially when the rest of the family (including Mommy) is trying to sleep.

After convincing myself that baby really was fine and would eventually stop crying, I miraculously dozed off into slumber, only to hear 4-year-old sneaking the markers out of the craft drawer. I raised my hand and snapped as loudly as I could and did some angry pointing back towards her room, and it must have worked, because yet again, Mommy somehow went back to dozing.

These are the things, I've noticed, that make for a cranky mommy. Earlier today, 4-year-old and 2-year-old beloved daughters were loudly singing some kind of "bang banga bang" song at the dinner table, and I found my head starting to pound along with their incessant chanting. My tone of voice got a little shorter, and my instructions quite snippy. I was able to step away from the situation mentally and convinced myself that I wasn't a beast for feeling this way. I pictured some of the adults I know, random adults that don't have children, and I pictured them sitting at this table with me, and clearly, they were as annoyed as I was. Yes...it is annoying to the adult ear to hear loud repetition of otoematpias (or however you spell that word). This would get on even the kindest person's nerves, I'm sure of it. BUT...I told myself...NAPTIME is sweet respite from noise, so if you, Mommy, can just endure a little bit longer, peace will come.

But did I mention beloved baby's screaming? Sigh!

Fullness of Joy

So after posting my "Blue Sky Blues" on Saturday, I took action. I got a can of Dr. Pepper out of the fridge, grabbed Jeremy's guitar, and went and sat outside on the porch while my kids were finishing naptime. Then, when my littles woke up, we went to the lake and met up with the rest of the family, and had a truly glorious evening! We were all out on this floating dock, all 7 of us, and my poor youngest were constantly getting barked at to sit on their rumps and stay put in the very center of the dock. But, barking aside, we had a great time of pointing out clouds, watching a crane who was perched in a dead tree, and analyzing every little detail of some fisherman who had decided to load his boat right beside us. Poor guy - he probably wasn't prepared at all for the reality-star he would become as we discussed his every move.
While the big boys (older son & daddy) fished a little longer into the evening, the girls and baby boy and I went for a little stroll around the lake. It was such a beautifully wonderful weather day, and, thank You, Jesus!, I actually got to enjoy it. And I have to say I really enjoyed my family, too. It's been a great weekend of family-ness, honestly. Saturday was great, and then Sunday morning, we woke up too late to make it to the church service we usually go to, so we decided to have family-church at home. Jer lead worship, I led the lesson, and it actually was really good! Our theme was "it's God's KINDNESS that leads us to repentence." I think the kids actually "got" it, what with my dramatization that involved tying my daughter to a chair (representing how seemingly "little" sins can actually end up making us prisoners). Maybe this chair routine can come into play a little more...say, when the kids are hyper-crazy after school...hmmm. Okay, obviously kidding, but...hey. So then, Sunday evening, we were supposed to go to an outreach at the park that our Lifegroup was doing, but we were running late for that, too (surprise, surprise), so when we headed that direction but realized we were over an hour late, we ditched the whole plan and ended up at the Dam. We then had a really awesome walk along the dam as a family. Yes, the "dam walk". (Makes me laugh every time!)
I had lunch with a great friend today (Erin Ivy!), and she was quick to encourage me that this hard stuff of parenting is only for a season, and as Darius Rucker sings in his current radio-hit, "It won't be like this for long. These days are gonna fly by." So I'm feeling very full, full of thankfulness for these children I have and the wonderful husband that gave them to me. And the beautiful Father who put it all together. Good days, bad days...I have plenty of both. But, wow - what a great weekend! Oh, and we had BBQ for supper...and hubby got me my fave ice cream as a surpise! Now did I mention I could do without the extra calories? But I'm thankful - so thankful. Besides...I think I've mentioned it before...but if God can give me DoubleTree chocolate chip cookies, surely some ice cream every now and then isn't such a bad thing! (I'll save the cookie story for another day)

The Blue Sky Blues

It's a beautiful Saturday. After a week of rain, the clouds have cleared and the sun is shining. We've had a great morning of blackberry pancakes, sausage, eggs, and family togetherness. I'm thankful. But now, Jeremy is off for some much-needed (and long-in-coming) fishing, and I'm sighing because I would so love to go with him. Thankfully, he's taking the older 2 kids with him, bless his heart, so my littles are just now down for a nap and I'll have some alone-time. That's nice, for sure. But I can't help feeling a bit sorry for myself because I remember the time (aka "the largest part of my life") when I could go outside every day whenever I wanted to. That might sound silly...but I've always been the kind of "kid" who needed to "go out" every day. I remember being in school (elementary and Jr. High)"stuck" in a class and wistfully looking out the window at the sun and wanting so desperately to be in it. When I went to high school, I was truly downhearted to learn that none of the classrooms had windows...there were windows in the common areas, but not in the classrooms,and I wondered how I would cope. If too long passed before I got to go outside, I would start to get really down. I remember in high school that sometimes, I would just run outside in between classes in hopes of reviving my downcast state with some much-needed Vitamin D.
So here I am, in a home with, literally, 40 windows, and I feel trapped in it. I always talk about how the house holds me prisoner sometimes. Not really, but because there are so many children and getting "out and about" with them is no easy task, I usually just give up and give in and STAY in. Ugh. I've noticed about myself, as well, that I don't feel so much of the longing to go outside anymore. It's like I've become accustomed to this cave. And sometimes, I pull the curtains shut...almost like I'm shielding myself from the rest of the world. Probably not that great of a thing to do. Probably a mild depression going on there. But my true self fights for hope and for light and for freedom...for running wild in a field of dandelions, for driving down the interstate with my windows down, or at least for sitting on a bench at a playground while my monkeys monkey around.
Today, the longing is back. I want to be free, to be outside, to walk around wherever I want, to drive wherever I want. To not have to think of anyone but myself. To not have to buckle a carseat or yell at a kid who's making loud noises and breaking my daydreaming. Sigh. But I'm telling myself that one day, one day, I'll have plenty of opportunities to take advantage of a beautiful day. And meanwhile, I'm going to try to be thankful, thankful that I have carseats to buckle and kids to yell at. :) And besides...maybe I can talk hubby into heading to a pumpkin patch after naptime. See...there's always hope! :)

Everyday Mercies

So regarding my last blog about the toothbrushing, let me just say that God is good and He is merciful! We went to the dentist last week (all children with teeth, anyway), and of all of them, here's what he said about the two-year-old toothbrush-toilet-dipper..."Her teeth are pristine!". Seriously?! I just had this overwhelming sense of God's grace envelop me when he said that. Just this sense that God is so much more loving and so much more good than we could ever comprehend, or, moreoever, ever deserve. I know it might sound silly when talking about the state of my kids' teeth, but it's true. I was deeply impacted.

Maybe it's because one of my prayers has always been that God would "fill in the gaps" in all the areas where my weaknesses or failures have made holes. Holes in my parenting, holes in the way I love my kids, holes in the way I take care of them. It's hard enough to do it right with just one child, let alone five. I realize this and am often paralyzed by the thought of it. And my heart just utters a feeble, "Help, Lord!".

One of the verses God gave me when I found out I was pregnant with my sweet #5 was in Isaiah where it talks about how "even the youth will grow tired and weary, but those who wait on the Lord will have renewed strength." I'm older now and have less energy, but I felt like God was promising me that if I'd look to Him, "His right hand will uphold me", as it says in Psalms. That He will be my strength. And His strength, coupled with a thousand other aspects of His character but mostly His grace, will take care of my kids and cover over all the mistakes and all the ways I fall short in my parenting.

Little did the dentist know that his announcement would write itself upon my heart!

Toothbrushing Fiasco

So today, I descend upon a most interesting toothbrushing scene in our bathroom. Shiloh, my two-year-old, has just dipped her toothbrush into the toilet bowl "because there's water in there, Mommy!". ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!! How does one respond to this?!!!! I thought about taking her to get dry cleaned or maybe making her swallow a gallon of hand sanitizer. But seriously...how long has this been going on?!

I have to confess I'm thinking this is what I deserve b/c I don't often supervise the daily cleansing of the teeth. The dentist asks, "So do they brush their teeth by themselves, or do you help them?" Uh...why do you ask? Is it because they're teeth are impeccable due to obvious adult intervention? Or is it because they're rotting underneath and it's obvious that Mommy has 5 kids and sometimes slacks in the grooming department?

Sigh! But I will say that this is one of those areas I freak out about. Teeth. I mean, maybe we get a little mercy, what with the baby teeth eventually falling out, but these permanent teeth...wow...they're supposed to last a lifetime. And sure, I don't let them eat candy very often, and the little ones have never taken juice sippy cups to bed...but that strawberry-flavored mouth wash formulated just for kids? REEEALLY. To me, that has "poison potential" written all over it. I mean, first of all, what kid under age 10 knows how to gargle and then spit? There's no question that about 85% of what's swished about in the mouth will be ultimately ingested. No thank you. And as for the floss...well...I confess...we floss about once a month, if that. My kids use floss as a tool, alright, but more so a tool for hanging toys from chairs, making parachutes for My Little Ponies, and such.

Let's just say I'm praying that God has some sort of miracle for redeeming spotty teeth maintenance, because the whole business of teeth is something I find completely overwhelming. Pretty much, until a kid is capable of scrubbing those things into tip-top shape all by himself/herself, we just kind of stick the toothbrush in the mouth and hope for the best. Besides...have you ever tried to brush a screaming toddler's teeth? You'd think you could really get in there and manuever, what with the wide-open mouth, but it's the kicking and thrashing that really cramp one's style.

Anyhoo...I guess if worst comes to worst, they can always fall on the graces of cosmetic dentistry. Maybe I'll start a "yeah, your mom wasn't that great at implementing a proper tooth brushing routine until you were old enough to handle it yourself, so here's some money to get caps on all your teeth when you're in your twenties" savings account. Or...and this would be a stroke of luck...maybe the bleach we clean the toilet with works wonders on the human mouth. Maybe Shiloh...maybe she's on to something!

Spilt Milk

So whoever came up with the adage "No use crying over spilt milk!" must have had a two-year-old. Seriously...I think I clean up spilt milk every other day. It's amazing how many times I hear this phrase in my head while I'm trying not to express my frustration verbally. And it's amazing how many times this has helped me keep things in perspective! Who knew?!

Little Wonders

Remember what I said about my two-year-old normally talking in big sentences? Here's something she just said. (Shiloh was drinking out of a cup with drawings on it, while Anneliese just had a plain colored cup with a star. Anneliese was talking about the star, and Shiloh responded with this):

"I don't have a star on my cup. I have people! See, Mommy? That's Clifford!"

And this kid hasn't been 2 for that long! Maybe I'm a little biased, but I think she's brilliant! :)

Then, earlier today, Maddy was rushing out the door for
school but also reciting a poem she had just written, something about popcorn. Let's just say it was full of "POP POP POP!".

Fun morning sounds, sweet little voices, little minds, full of discovery. I'm blessed!