Humility

I feel like the past few years of my life have been spent learning humility. For an almost-only child who grew up without siblings to fight with and who pretty much thought the world revolved around her, this is actually a good thing. I'm not saying I'm enjoying it...it's trying, for sure. But oh, so needed.

The more I think about it, I would say the whole humility thing started with having kids. I mean, what's more humbling than having your legs spread apart and a room full of people staring at your crotch while you try to push a watermelon through...well...you know what I'm saying. After that, it was the nursing...having those "whoops" moments when feeding your ravished newborn in public but not having quite mastered the art of keeping everything covered. Then, as the kids mature, it's the meltdowns in the middle of the grocery store aisle, or the sheer amount of time spent with your rear in the air as you bend down to tie shoes, put on socks, pull up training pants, etc. etc. Yes...this mothering thing should be practiced in monasterys around the world!

But that aside, I'm praying that I learn to love humility. See, there's a verse I found this morning that I've heard a million times, but reading it again reminded me of its significance:

"Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion."-Phil. 2:5-7 (The Message)

There's something in me that feels the need to explain...to prove myself...to make sure people know my capabilities or my talents - my giftings. To prove that I'm not just some lady who's barefoot and pregnant all the time (although my friend Jeni is right...I AM!), to let them know that I didn't grow up over in the ghetto (even though that's where we currently reside), to let them know I'm educated, etc. But you know what? Who cares?!! Just me, really. So instead, I just keep quiet, even though everything in me is screaming out to be really known. I'll admit that most of the time, I don't keep quiet on my own...usually, the situation affords me no luxury of explaining things to onlookers...but I'm praying that I, too, will "live a selfless, obedient life" with a thousand daily cruxifications of MY plan, MY will, MY need to be respected blah blah blah. I want to embrace humility. If the greatest person who ever lived was able to do it (and asks US to do it), it must be worthwhile. It must be worth it. It must be the best thing for us, with a higher goal, a deeper purpose, a beautiful result.

Here's a thought to close: Wasn't it just like God to rub shoulders with the lowely and the despised? I'm so glad He wasn't haughty when He came. I'm so glad He embraced lepers and spit in the dirt and cursed at fig trees. He didn't have to be this way...He didn't have to be a God so near. And He chose "the foolish things of the world to shame the wise." The lowly things, the disgraced, and He came right into our world, beginning with dirty hay, fleas, rats, cattle, sheep, a feeding trough, a carpenter, and a teenage girl. WOW.