Mid-Afternoon Panic

So for what it's worth, I'm going to describe what I'm feeling now, which is an all-too-familiar sense of panic. Why am I panicked? Why is my stomach in knots and why am I fighting this feeling like I need to instantly escape?!

It's "Mid-afternoon Panic"! Translated as such: It's 3:40. I haven't been to the grocery store this week, so I therefore have nothing to prepare for supper tonight. Husband is coming home in 2 hours expecting a family meal, and I've got nothing. Not to mention that I'm feeling really light-headed and out-of-it, which means I've either got low blood sugar or need to intake more iron. THEN, in this state, I've got to figure out how to procure food for the evening. My two oldest kids are out with my mom and will be arriving any time, which will no doubt up the volume and stress level, and I'm mentally not ready for them and their constant requests. Additionally, husband is headed back to work after dinner, which means I'll be "single momming" it all night. Ugh. AND I'm adding a three-year-old nephew to the mix, which means I will be trapped at the house b/c there's literally no room in our mini-van for all of us. PANICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!

I'm freaking out. Everything in me is saying, "Run!! Escape!!!" But where the heck am I going to go? I feel like I need to get out of the house (because I haven't yet today), maybe go exercise or something, or maybe take a shower. But I'm started to feel a little depressed on top of it all b/c I feel like I can't win. I feel like I can't ever be on top of things. I feel trapped and like I'm stuck in this house and with these responsibilities that I can't adequately take care of. I long for the day when I'm back in my "groove" and when I'm accomplishing more than a few things every day.

This is not the best side of me, for sure. But I wanted to record it in case, if nothing else, I need my husband to read it so he understands me a little better.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!