So It's Been Awhile

Sorry, anyone who checks in on my blog...I'm pretty bad about remembering to come vent here. I owe you one! So here you go:

(This was written the other day while my kids played at the park and I stewed on the bench)
What is WRONG with me?! It's like, I KNOW we all function better when we go to a park or outside every day. But every now and then, I say "no" when my kids ask if we can go just because I don't want them to think they're "running the show." How retarded is THAT?! Usually ,when I get like that, I'm already really annoyed with my kids, and my stupid decision just exacerbates the problem. But they're KIDS! They NEED to get out and play every day! I firmly believe this! So what is my deal?! I'm an idiot!
My oldest sister commented on one of my postings that what helped her (the mother of 4, who are now mostly grown) was to step back from the situation and try to see it from an uninvolved outsider's perspective, instead of reacting in the heat of the moment. Like right now, for instance. After a stressful and failure-of-a-morning, we're at the park. It changes EVERYTHING! The sun feels so good - SO GOOD - on my skin, and the fresh air is healing. It reminds me of everything good and happy, every fond memory growing up and every hope of happy times to come. But I'm trying to write while the kids play, and I've got a very whiny, clingy two-year-old in my arms. Ugh. She's been so needy lately, and, I confess, it's driving me crazy. I'm ashamed to say it, but the last thing I want to do right now is hold her. I'm like, "Hey, Baby, why don't you go play with your sister and brother? Look! You want to go slide?! Ooooh, why don't you go slide?! Mommy needs space right now..." But, my irritation (and selfishness) aside, at least she's lightweight. It would really stink if she were like my other kids and in the 95th percentile for her age. That would be annoying and physically taxing. So there's something to be thankful for. How horrible am I?!

So, that said, here are some things I'm going to post around my house - some much-needed reminders of how to maintain as much peace as possible with my four-ring circus:

1) GO OUTSIDE EVERY DAY!
2) BE THANKFUL
3) RE-EVALUATE YOUR GOALS (and change them if they're leading to constand frustration)
4) A BROKEN, SURRENDERED LIFE SMELLS THE SWEETEST